19 penis problems every man knows far too well

When you put your dick away only for it to decide it's not *quite* done pissing.

JOE.co.uk
Created by JOE.co.uk (User Generated Content*)User Generated Content is not posted by anyone affiliated with, or on behalf of, Playbuzz.com.
On Jul 22, 2016
1

When you go for your first piss of the day and the stream forks all over the place for some reason.

*Cleans toilet seat, floor, wall behind toilet, own feet*

2

But that's nothing compared to how difficult it is to piss with a boner.

And they say giving birth is hard...

3

When you put your dick away after a piss only to realise it wasn't ~completely~ done pissing.

Great, now I have to try and dry this off before going back out in public.

4

When you're on a long car journey and the damn vibrations give you the most uncomfortable of boners.

What am I supposed to do with this?!

5

And vibrations + air pressure = awkward aeroplane boners.

Nothing better than being sat between two total strangers with a raging hard on trying to bulge through your jeans, right?

6

Sometimes you'll just get a boner at the worst possible moment, and there's not really much you can do about it.

7

You just have to go for the old "tuck it under your waistband" trick and hope nobody notices.

8

But then of course, when you want and need your boner the most, booze makes sure it's nowhere to be seen.

Fuck you, whisky dick.

9

When it goes above 23°C and your balls immediately stick to the inside of your leg.

10

So you have to shove one hand deep into your pocket and try to free them without anyone noticing.

11

When you go into a public toilet and someone else has pissed all over the seat.

It should not be your job to clean this up.

12

And it's even worse when you leave the cubicle, someone else goes in afterwards, and thinks it was you that did it.

13

When you hear stories of people snapping their "banjo string", and live in constant fear of doing the same.

If you're one of those unlucky people, we're so sorry. We're all here for you.

14

When it gets chilly. Especially when you need to show off...

Come on little guy, stop being so... little.

15

When you sit down in the toilet and your penis touches the inside of the bowl.

So fucking gross.

16

When you're a little too hasty zipping up and IMMEDIATELY regret it.

It's trapped! It's fucking trapped!

17

When you go down for an itch and your penis decides it's a cue to get big.

No! Not now! Down boy, down!

18

When you're having sex and you get far too excited far too quickly.

So you end up planning your fantasy football team for the weekend or trying to remember song lyrics to hold it off.

19

And the worst of them all – getting a boner in jogging bottoms.

Yeah, there's no coming back from that.

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