7 Reasons Twitch Was A Mistake

"Hookups are okay but not required"

There's nothing like a partner not realizing that you are streaming to drop some choice news on you, or maybe that was the entire point. Regardless of what the case may be it's proabbly safe to assume that someone slept on the couch that night. We don't know the details on this one and it's possible someone made a fake profile but the laughs for us will last a lifetime.

"Go to the bathroom and take a shit!"

Those words ring like the bells of Notre-Dame Cathedral acorss the internet. I can't help but think this mom isn't quite so agressive most of the time and just that this little shit, well, wouldn't go take a shit when asked nicely. The fact that he refuses leads me to believe he's taken a Count Doouku in his pantaloons while gaming before.

"Where is Oregon?"

You'd think a game show designed to test fifth-graders would make for some lighthearted fun on Twitch. That would be the case if you actually made it past the fith grade. Look, directions are really hard and it's easy to not understand up from down and left from right. I'm also sure most people in Oregon couldn't tell you where Oregon was becasue they are high out of their minds.

"I'm gonna fuck the virtual cunt."

Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship redneck. Fake gansters are hillarious; fake gangsters flailing there arms around in VR talking about wanting to see space wang is even more hillarious. I don't think its possible to look tough in VR when playing fucking Star Trek. This is what the J.J. timeline has brought us. Domestic violence in VR really in the final frontier.

"Call the cops!"

This one is just painful and shows that additction and mental health are scary things. They are even more scary when you watch it happen live on Twitch. I have no idea what happened after this video but I sure as hell hope this kid got the help he needs. Sometimes walking away from playing a video game is for the best and if a pack of smokes leads to your dad sitting on you waiting for the cops to come you just might have a serious problem.

"I should have known."

H1Z1 is totally not broken and works perfectly for everyone. To be fair she should have known that that closed door was totally open. We all get mad over losing from time to time, but when when you lose becasue the game is broken it hurts a little deeper because you know you didn't do anything wrong. We totally feel her pain. Also, don't play H1Z1 is you want to have fun in a stable game.

"Fuck you and fuck your kids!"

Love is a wonderful thing but it's not as wonderful as streaming on Twitch. I have never been in a relationship that devloved into a situation like this and it blows my mind how people function together in these situations without cops constantly at your door. Knowing that there are kids involved makes me lose even more faith in humanity. If this is love I'm pretty happy never getting married.