Which Transfer Deadline Day Star Are You?

Have you ever got off an aeroplane after several tumblers of fine whisky, happily unprepared for which football manager is going to pick you up in a limo and get you to pose with a shirt minutes later? Okay, probably not, but you must ooze class to be similar to Dimitar Berbatov, who swaggered in to Old Trafford in 2008 after Sir Alex Ferguson reportedly drove to Manchester airport to clinch the surprise deal.

Have you ever acted out of sheer impulse, only to suddenly discover that you've been made a fool of? Look, you were fed up and wanted a change, but don't feel too bad about it. Peter Odemwingie thought he was driving to QPR to sign for the London club in January 2013, only to be left stranded in the car park. It was 'total lunacy' according to his former manager Steve Clarke.

Have you ever lost track of where you are and what you are really doing and it's all become a bit embarrassing? Robinho understands. "Chelsea made a great proposal on the last day and I accepted" he said in September 2008. When asked if he meant Manchester City, Robinho replied: "Yeah. Manchester. Sorry!" We've all been there.

Who doesn't want to be a David Moyes favourite, even if they are a desperate panic buy after other 'favourites' have fallen by the wayside? Fellaini signed for Manchester United in September 2013 for £27.5 million when he could have arrived earlier for less money and everyone was left feeling a bit disappointed - but it happens.

Do you currently feel bewildered by the farcical events going on around you? Tevez must have felt exactly that way. Not so much desperate as downright bizarre - not you, this transfer. Tevez joined West Ham along with fellow Argentine Javier Mascherano in 2006.

Have you ever felt completely out of your depth with a ridiculous amount of pressure because of a poor decision from someone else? Look, it's not your fault. Andy Carroll arrived at Liverpool because Liverpool had sold Fernando Torres and needed to sign a replacement - any replacement; at any cost. It didn't go too well, but nevermind.

Have you ever arrived somewhere amid much fanfare before feeling as though you really can't really be bothered to live up to so much pressure? No...? Arshavin joined Arsenal in January 2008 and immediately declared "I am Gooner!" Four goals in a 4-4 draw against Liverpool saw him off to a flying start, only for it all to go steadily downhill from there.

Look, we know you're all class really, but what happened...? Torres joined Chelsea for over £50 million in January 2011 - at the time a transfer record involving a British club. The move was an expensive disaster. But don't worry - as with Torres, everyone remembers what you've achieved in the past. Why not just head back to a sun lounger in Spain?