Non-Drinkers Share What They Tell People Who Ask Them: "Why Don't You Drink?"

What I tell people: "I don't see the appeal".

What it actually is but takes far too long to explain and is usually too heavy for a night out: "my mum is a recovering alcoholic, I'm far more like her than I care to admit, and I know that for whatever reason, it often runs in families.

I also have an obsessive personality so if I discover I like some alcoholic drink, the odds of me over drinking it are high. Everything people says it does to you terrifies me.

Reduced social inhibitions? No thanks, I like mine where they are. Reduced motor coordination? No thanks, my fine motor control is bad enough as it is. I can't say enough about how it doesn't appeal to me at all. And also, 9 times out of 10, Pepsi is cheaper."

jb28737

"I'd rather not get into it." or some variation of that. If they press me, I'll tell them that I come from a long line of alcoholics on my dad's side, all of whom died young due to their alcoholism, and tell them my dad died especially tragically, suffering from acute liver failure, he died, passed out, in a pool of his own vomit, homeless in a park after my mother kicked him out of the house and the shelter he was staying at kicked him out as well...I miss him.

Glaciata

I used to make up a crap ton of excuses but now I say, “I don’t want to.” I have a ton of legitimate reasons- medical, fear of losing control or addiction, fear of being taken advantage of, anxiety in typical places where drinking takes place, fear of getting in trouble (college student), but I’ve decided this is one part of my life I don’t need to make excuses for. Fuck yeah, I’m not killing my liver (not that drinking in moderation would, but you get it). Fuck yeah I’m making the decisions that make me feel safe and comfortable, and fuck you for asking.

MrPotato2753

I'm a liver transplant patient, so now I just say that or "wore out the old one, not about to do the same to the new one." and before that I was born with Hep C, (diagnosed at a young age, so I've actually never drank alcohol.)

Before my transplant I would start with "My liver isn't great," and if they kept pushing I'd either give them the depressing 30 minute spiel including my imminent demise, or I'd explain my exact thinking: "My doctor told me I'd die at like thirty, so I figured why lose time on something that tastes like a cleaning agent?"

It never won me any friends, but like it's a rude question.

Absolutely_No_Capes

I've been asked enough times that I have a ready answer.

In no particular order:

I don't like the taste of alcohol, and I'm not interested in acquiring that taste.

Alcohol has a lot of Calories, and I don't need yet another source of Calories.

Alcohol is expensive. I'd rather spend my money on other things.

I don't like the idea of not being in control of my mind and my actions.

I don't want to damage my body (brain, liver, etc.).

I don't want to risk getting addicted.

Spire

I dont drink alcohol because I think it makes whatever you're drinking just taste like a sh*tter version of itself.

Coke and rum? Tastes like nutsack. Just give me a coke.

Fruit cocktail? What fruit did you use? Ass? No thanks.

Milk-based liqueurs like irish cream? Why the f*ck would I drink this sh*t if I could just have a milkshake instead!?

And before anyone starts with "yeah but have you had" or "but what about" the answer is yes, I have tried it, and its arse. Im Australian. I know what alcoholic beverages taste like. To my tastebuds, they are all equally as sh*t as each other and I dont need them to have a good time.

redditorperth

I don't like the taste (why waste money on something that tastes like piss)

I'm allergic. For me at least, it gets hard to breathe after a drink - like my throat is swelling shut

After telling someone I don't drink, they: A. Get defensive and tell me they only drink occasionally as if they think I think I'm better than them, or they want to make it seem like that's not all they do B. Ask if I'll drink for their birthday or whatever occasion C. Tell me I haven't had the right drink

I've been neglected by old friends because the only thing they can think about doing as a group is go drinking. You can honestly only go out and watch your friends get drunk only so many times.

vutorious

Grew up in an alcoholic home. Homeless. Always on the run from the law. My grandfathers on both sides were alcoholics. My dad was an alcoholic. My sister is a drug addict and alcoholic. She's living on the street somewhere. I always assumed I was probably an alcoholic, too. So, I just never drank the first one. I'm 53 and have never had a beer or any alcohol.

I just tell people I don't drink and never have. A friend of mine was poking fun at me once back in high school, "Are you afraid to have even one drink!?"

I responded, "You've been to my house."

He got real serious and said, "Yeah. Sorry. That was uncool."

I just don't drink.

Kiroway66

I kind of agree with every reason I found not to drink :

- Afraid of loosing control / Prefer to stay myself

- Don't need it to have fun

- People tell me I should drink because "everybody drinks". Well, guess I'm not everybody.

- So many people tried to forced me "gently" to drink, so I became stubborn about alcohol.

- I don't like the taste. And given how little I drank in my life, I quickly detected it in drinks. So don't tell me "there is so little you can't taste the alcohol". And yes, I know I haven't tested every alcohol in the world so I can't say I don't like the taste.

- Bad for my health

- Getting drunk is stealing happiness for tomorrow morning. I don't need that.

- Bad for my finances (yes, beer is cheaper than water in Germany, I know !)

- Most of my friends don't drink, so for me it's natural not to drink

- Because I don't want to think about how much I drink. I drink until I'm not thirsty any more, like I eat until I don't feel hunger any more.

- I haven't really drunk since my birth, that's the best streak (killstreak? don't have the word) of my life.

- I wouldn't feel true to myself any more if I drank just because everybody drinks.

- Drinking would not make me funny, but sad (the one I keep for myself) or angry (because of not thinking clearly).

- Drinking would give me reasons for everything. After all, I never drunk, so I can say I can't be good at holding my drink.

- I agree with drunk people that stupid things can look like good ideas if you are drunk enough.

- As a child, it was always something I see adults do. They didn't want me to be "part of their group" of drinkers, so I decided it was not for me. I like to keep my inner child in me.

And best for me :

- It make my parents proud. They do drink. They would still be proud of me if I was drinking, whatever the quantity (well not too much). But I like the way things are.

The only bad side : when you are in a bar, soft drinks doesn't offer you a lot of choice. :(

But be aware : I am not against drinking. I don't judge people on that. Do whatever you want. As long as you respect other people, you ain't doing something wrong. It's just not my thing.

TL;DR: I just don't want to drink. It's just not my thing.

OkapiBleu

When I was in early college and eeeeeverrybody else was doing it, I didn’t know what to say so I’d just stammer through it.

Then a good friend advised the following response:

‘I don’t drink....anymore’

And look off with a thousand yard stare.

People get defensive when you just say ‘I don’t drink’ ... but if you allude to some drama they stop asking and don’t press the issue again. Worked like a charm.

stitcherydoo

Yup. Binge drinking is my bitter mistress. It’s so annoying, because people feel like you owe them an explanation for your reasoning or that they can tell you what the definition of “alcoholism” is according to their personal view (daily heavy drinking, etc).

I respond, “Because I’m an alcoholic”. And generally get a confused look, treated like a joke, or ignored as they carry on about alcohol, drinking etc. at 4 years now. I wish you the best on your journey! 🥳

pineapplequeeen

People do that with everything. Like they're screaming to validate their own ways of existing when absolutely nobody asked. I don't eat meat, never say I don't eat meat, actively hide it at times and yet as soon as someone find out they freak out. I don't give a shit you eat meat or drink or whatever why the fuck do you care what I don't do

dascowsen

I don't really drink, so I totally get the sentiment. However, I grew up in an area of Northern California where marijuana consumption was so ingrained in the social structure that I found myself eventually resorting to the lie, "Sorry, I get drug tested at work" as a reason I didn't partake. Otherwise, some people would get offended like I didn't think their weed was good enough. I got tired of explaining, justifying, and debating my decision in order to appease their hurt feelings so resorted to that socially acceptable fib just so we could quickly move on without anybody getting upset.

"Bummer, man!"

"Yep, sure wish I could get high with you!" shakes fist at the sky/the corporate man holding me down.

They nod in agreement as they take a hit and pass it the other way.

I just happen to prefer the clarity of soberness, and some people really have difficulty understanding that or think it's some kind of back-handed judgment of their personal choices.

For example, whenever we visited other people of any age, in any social situation, the first thing to occur after greetings was to offer up a bowl or joint to share like a little peace offering. I liked socializing, I just didn't want to be high all the time.

That was a long time ago and I've moved states since then. I also now only hang out with mature, respectful people who would never question my choices. I'm also mature enough to stand my ground and say "no thanks" without caring if it's acceptable to others or not.

LunarBerries

I just hate the taste of most alcohols. Especially beers. I've tried probably 10 different kinds in my life, hated all of them.

I hate wine too. I've only had a few of those, but I've hated them all.

Some champagne is ok, but nothing I could drink more than a small glass of.

I do enjoy the occasional white/black russian, and if I'm feeling extra saucy, a long island iced tea, but that's about it.

If alcohol tasted like Mello Yello, I'd probably be an alcoholic, so thank goodness it doesn't.

haroldburgess

I usually say something like it's just not my thing, but the real reason is because I hate the personality changes that people exhibit while drunk. Many people become loud and obnoxious, and some become angry. They seem like a totally different person sometimes. The only upside is that they're funny as fuck.

Nandflash

My mother is an alcoholic. When I was 16 I had a girlfriend who I spent 90% of my time with. One night I was up late, probably 11pm. My mother came into my room, pried the phone from my hands and started screaming into the phone at my girlfriend. She was yelling and swearing and all of that. I snatched the phone right back and hung it up.

This is where it got real. She went on to drunkenly tell me that this girl was a scumbag and she wasn't good enough for me. I said "well deal with it because I'm happy." She didn't like that answer. She started shoving me and pushed me into the fridge. I got up and started to get physically angry. I punched the fridge (not my smartest decision) and tried to go isolate myself back in my bedroom. She pressed on and told me I had mental issues and I needed help.

Adamant on getting into the room with me holding it shut from the other side, I eventually came out to see if everything had died down. It didn't. She grabbed a knife from the nearby kitchen block and moved toward me, insisting I wasn't okay in the head. Mind you, it's JANUARY and where I live, snow comes by the footload. I had nothing except my pajama pants on and a T-shirt. I started yelling for help when my brother, my mom's boyfriend, and my grandmother came out to see what was going on. It was midnight by this point. She was still coming after me, when I put my jacket on, slipped my slippers onto my feet, and darted out the door. I figured if I can just make it to my father's house a few miles away I'll be okay.

Well, they said "No, you aren't going anywhere" and forcefully pulled the jacket off of me. But they didn't know what I just experienced to get to that point. So I said fuck it. I ran to my dad's house in pajama pants and a T-shirt through a foot and a half of snow in January. They all piled into the car and chased after me. I cut through yards, side roads, everything to try and lose them.

I couldn't feel safe around my own family. I finally get to my dad's and it doesn't seem like the rest of my family knew where I went. It's 1am by this point and my dad was working the night shift. I knew he would be home soon. I called him to fill him in on the situation and he told me he would hurry up to let me in the house. Suddenly, I hear a car roll up the driveway. This is it, I can go inside and dry off and warm up under some blankets.

Nope. It's the rest of my family before. My drunken mother rounds the corner to the patio just to scream and push me to the ground. Do I fight back? This is the woman who gave me life and now she's in a drunken rage basically trying to take that from me. I ran to my grandmother's arms and just cried while hugging her.

My mother would stand next to us and whale on me, hitting me in the face, back, neck, anything that was exposed. I was half frozen by this point so I didn't feel anything. My grandmother screamed for her to stop, and my mom's boyfriend just stood and watched as it all went down. Do I turn around and clock her one?

Finally my dad rolls in the driveway and gets out furious as ever. He screams at my mom and tells them to get out of here. He unlocks the door and I make it 3 feet into the kitchen before I pass out. I woke up on the couch the next day (on a school night mind you.) He called me in and I ended up missing school for an entire week because we were afraid people would ask where the cuts and bruises came from.

My then girlfriend would call me, and I thought it was to check up on how I was doing. Nah, she just wanted to know the KEYBOARD SHORTCUT TO COPY AND PASTE. Needless to say, we didn't last. I didn't return home for a month. When I did, I just grabbed my Xbox 360 and left. My mom was crying apologizing to me for what had happened. I still haven't forgiven her to this day. Eventually though, I did move back into the house.

About 6 years later, her boyfriend did something similar where he got drunk and passed out in the garage.. with the door wide open. Passer-by's thought he was dead, so they called an ambulance. He came inside and pushed me around and blamed me for it. I was a whole ass adult by this point, and he wasn't shit to me, so I fought back. I ended up at my dad's once more.

Now a days, when I am there, I lock myself away with my brother (21) when they drink. They're married now, but still raging alcoholics. Now they fight eachother. I even tried to look into rehab for them. They refused.

Thank you for reading this and thank you OP for this post. It's difficult to tell people let alone type it. But I'm glad I could get this out. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about it.

Rabbitofdeth

I'm 46 and haven't had any alcohol since just after I turned 20. Woke up with a hangover and said that old "Ohhhh, never again!" and never did again. I've never smoked weed or done any type of recreational drug. It's just not my scene.

I just like the way I feel when I'm clear-headed. It doesn't bother me if people do like to drink. I certainly don't look down on it or judge people or talk about it, unless it's in a situation like this thread. My family and friends are all very accepting, so that's good enough for me.

I'm sure the armchair psychologists will say something about being a control freak, and how I just can't let go, and hell... Maybe they're right. I don't know; don't even care. It works for me.

1plus1equalsfun

I'm Muslim. That does the trick and no one asks again

ProtectedCesc

I rarely drink, and at my last job I worked closely with a few Muslim guys.

It was great! We got to do the whole "I'll have what he's having" bit after one of them ordered a seltzer water with lemon. "Sounds great! Make that two."

Turns out there's also a critical mass of non-drinkers on a work team that prevents the questions.

Assuming it's a 20 person team: One person that doesn't drink? People make it weird.

Two people? Well, at least you have each other.

Three people? Okay, now you can assume there will be non-alcoholic options at the work party.

Something magical happens once you hit four non-drinkers on a 20 person team. Suddenly more people come out of the woodwork as not actually enjoying drinking that much and want to move the happy hours to somewhere that's more food-centric. Team outings shift to activities instead of boozefests.

It really made it less awkward for everyone.

double

Wow. I never thought of this at all. When people ask me, I just straight up tell them that I'm an alcoholic. For the past few years, only one person has been a prick about it. Everybody else typically asks, "How long?" I tell them, get the good for you's, which are nice. Then, half the time it turns into a conversation about addiction, "My cousin is an addict," or we just move on.

I can one hundred percent see the other side if it's a life choice. Honestly, it's more admirable to never drink than to recover from addiction. It's that, from my point of view, there was no need for me to ever start and go through years of trouble. It is far more admirable to never start. Drinking is not necessary. I've had this opinion for years.

What I've never thought of is people saying, "OMG! You have never drank?!?! Oh. My. God. C'mon I've got a surprise for you..." and so on. I can see that happening frequently.

HeronymousBosch