It's Hilarious What People Think Is Acceptable To Explain To A Child But Not To An Adult

The importance of keeping your hands to yourself.

Man, back in the junior college I went to there was anime club where they really just got together to watch anime after class. It was full of misfits and outcasts, but when you took the time to try to socialize with them they were pretty cool. Just quiet and not sure where they fit into the world or what they wanna be.

BUT there was this ONE GUY who would go around and put his hands on the girls without their permission. Like, wrap them up in a hug from behind, or hold her waist while talking to her. First time I saw it I thought they were dating. But then when he left her alone I noticed she wrapped her arms around herself and went to go be by herself. Asked one of the people with me what that was about, and they told me not to worry about because their group leader was in the process of handling it.

Sure enough, a few minutes later the group leader went over to her and they chatted for a bit.

I didn't go into the club too often, but one time I did and they made the guy putting his hands on all the girls get in front of everybody and stand there while they played recording tapes of all the girls who spoke to the group leader about being touched without permission. Dude started crying and trying to object but they just yelled at him to shut up until the tapes were done playing.

After all the tapes were done the group leader told him he was banned and if that he ever heard about him putting his hands on another girl, he would get the police involved.

Last I ever saw of that guy. Last I heard he had really bad grades and dropped out.

FainOnFire

Don’t pee on the toilet seat.

If you accidentally pee on the toilet seat, wipe it up with toilet paper so the next person doesn’t sit on it.

Waja_Wabit

Also, don’t stand on the toilet seat at a North American toilet. I worked in a building with international students. The toilet seats always had shoe marks. This was a woman’s bathroom.

hooulookinat

And wash your hands afterwards. I see so many men walk straight out of public bathrooms when I'm using them. You'd think someone else being in there would at least make them do it out of social obligation. But nope - many (mostly middle-aged and over) just don't give a fuck. Keep that in mind next time you shake hands with a man over 40.

Chromattix

I had to explain this a 13 who used the main bathroom as his own, since his mom had her own. I also had to explain to him that sometimes pee gets behind the seat and also under the seat. This entire time he’s staring at me dead in the eyes and telling me “but it wasn’t me”. Like, dude. I know you’re the only guy that’s living in this house, I also know there is WAY too much pee on the toilet for that to be from one of your friends. Please don’t lie to my face because you’re embarrassed, just acknowledge so we can move past this.

p0cketplatypus5

It is unacceptable and quite literally ILLEGAL to open mail that is addressed to somebody other than you. If your name is not on the envelope, it is not yours to open, regardless of your relationship to the person whose name is on it. Unless you have expressed permission to open it or have been told, explicitly, that you have permission to open any mail that person receives, your curiosity does not outweigh an individual’s right to privacy or the privilege of opening and reading their own mail first.

My spouse does this periodically, and I have asked him repeatedly, and with increasing agitation, to stop. He has even gone so far as to open packages I have received while I am at work, twice ruining the surprise birthday or Father’s Day gifts I have purchased believing I would be able to receive, hide and then subsequently present the delivered items to him on his special day. It is positively maddening.

His response to my anger and insistence that he let me open my own mail is, “We’re married. Your bills are my bills, and if something happens to you, I will be held personally accountable for you debts.” Granted, this is true, and I absolutely agree he has a right to know about the bills I receive and any debt I might accrue that he is unaware of. That said, I have no problem with him seeing my bills or credit card statements-I have a MAJOR problem with him taking the liberty to open any piece of mail he might come across before asking for permission to do so, especially after I have expressed that I feel he is violating my trust and my right to privacy when he does it. I am not a dishonest person, nor do I keep secrets from my spouse. He knows about any and all debt that I have accrued over the course of my lifetime, and I have always been forthcoming about these matters. He has no reason to distrust me or believe that I am withholding financial information from him. I simply want to open my own mail first, and if it is appropriate information to share with him, I will allow him to see what I have received. I have always shown him the same courtesy that I have requested of him, even when the mail he has received obviously pertains to us both or a matter that I know will affect me or our children in some way. If my name is not on the envelope, I put it on the desk where he will see when he comes home. If it seems like a particularly concerning or time sensitive piece of mail, I will call him and ask if he would like for me to open it and tell him about its contents. But I never take the liberty of opening his mail. I find it absurd and a bit controlling that I have had to ask him more than once not to open mine.

We have two young sons, and they have, on occasion, opened mail addressed to one of us. I have explained to them that it is not only disrespectful to open mail that is addressed to somebody else, it is quite literally a felony crime of mail theft. It is an illegal action that is punishable by law, and I will continue to insist that they learn to respect the privacy of others and that they understand that it is the prerogative of of the addressee to share the contents of their mail with others should they wish to do so.

The fact that I must still remind their father of this periodically is absurd in my opinion.

kmpktb

Where babies come from. No shit, I had to explain this to a 19 year old who got his girlfriend pregnant. He seriously thought that because they were both virgins, that she couldn't get pregnant. She did.

Grawgar

Happens more often than you would think. In closed communities there is often negative sex education. And by that I mean not being told anything is zero but having access to the internet, peers, and the opposite sex allows you some knowledge. But for example: hasidic Jewish communities. Have nothing, it is common for the groom and bride to meet on their wedding day and that be the first time they are even alone having meaningful contact with someone of the opposite sex. You can see this on documentaries all over. Some other communities like that are Mennonites, puritans, and jehova witnesses.

It's entirely possible that one Reaches adulthood without any knowledge of what sex even is. Let alone what someone of the opposite sex looks like when naked. Sounds crazy but it is. Too true.

RaceHard

Teaching the concept of personal space. Too many adults do not understand it.

A man was standing so close to me in the supermarket queue that I had to ask him repeatedly to take a step back. Every time the queue moved forward he would be jammed up against me again. In his incoherent response he seemed very concerned that I wasn't jammed up against the next guy in the queue too, as if that was just an open invitation for random people to jump into the gaps ahead of us.

HalfManHalfCyborg

I was at Universal Hollywood, in a ride queue, and the couple behind me kept bumping my backpack. Over and over, anytime I moved forward, they were right there, so close behind me.

Now, I hate confrontation, and I know I am stuck in front of these people for at least 30 min, so I don’t want to piss them off. But I am slowly losing my mind as they keep running into me! I tried being all passive aggressive about it, telling my young son, “Now, Buddy, don’t get so close to the people in front of you that you run into them! Personal space is important!” Said in that mom voice you use in the playground. Yeah, no dice. Bump, bump, again and again. And they are chatting with each other and canoodling and I think they were just lost in their own world but for the love of Cheesus, stay back! Finally, I couldn’t stand it and I turned and asked if they could “please give me a little more space, because you keep bumping me.”

They acted like I had just demanded that they kick puppies. They then gave me about 4 feet of extra space like I was the problem. Jokes on them, because I was totally happy with the situation.

pikaboo27

That you should tip your delivery drivers or taxi drivers. Most people today are independent contractors due to apps like Uber and Grubhub. A lot of drivers are using their personal vehicles and gas to make it happen.

Even if they did a poor job, you should still tip. They are dependent on tips because the mileage and wait time is only a few dollars. They're not always making the minimum hourly wage. If you can't or refuse to tip, go pick it up yourself.

DragonSpitFire2326

The debate of whether the toilet lid should be up or down. It is unfathomable that there is even a debate. It needs to be put DOWN. To those of you who are thinking, ‘what’s the problem with leaving the lid up’, I’ll explain. The lid prevents specs of e-coli infected water to be flung on EVERYTHING in the room when you flush. You are getting shit on your toothbrush when you don’t put the lid down. And on everything else. So please kids, put the fucking lid down when you flush.

gmus

Back when my friend was 17 and I was 19, his mom got transferred to a city nearly 50 miles away. Since it was January and he was about to graduate high school, she didn't want to pull him out of school so she made a deal with me. I'd live in their house for free and take care of him - but he was completely self sufficient so I worked my CNA job and took my college classes and did my own thing.

Found out after about a week that he didn't shower and when his mom forced him to, he's just hop in and let lukewarm water run over his body for a few minutes. He said his mom (single mom with a super busy job) never taught him how.

I had to go into the bathroom with him and (i was wearing gloves and fully clothed of course) bathe him. Washed his hair, scrubbed his body with soap, the whole works.

He does pretty well for himself now. Two part time jobs, lives alone in a studio apartment, reconnected with his dad. He showers two to three times a day!

...because he doesn't buy toilet paper. He doesn't want to waste money on it, so when he poops, he just showers immediately after. He also drives halfway across town to clog the toilet at quik shop when he doesn't feel like showering.

He's 24 now.

For clarity. I was fully clothed and wearing gloves, he was naked in the shower.

Dr_Marmalade2019

I'm a private tutor. I've had to argue with too many parents who disagreed with me over simple concepts like how to add fractions, but I'm billing them 80+ dollars an hour, so I'm fine with spending a bit of time explaining basic ideas.

Edit: Yes, I charge 80-200 dollars per hour. I only advertise my services in rich neighborhoods. Also, it's not like poor people are at a disadvantage because they can't afford my help. I'm actually quite useless.

Mizamagician

"Hey, you know this better than me, please help my child, I will pay you"

You proceed to teach them

"Hey that's wrong! That's not how I do it! I should know, I'm paying you to teach because I can't".

I've tutored before (mostly chemistry and a little calc 1), and it's infuriating to have either the person you're helping or the person who's paying you try to critique you.

One time in college I was in the math club's tutoring room getting help on a particularly difficult p-chem problem, and a sociology major came in for help on her stats hw.

One of the first things she said was "I don't even understand why I need to take math, I'll never use it". Kind of think that understanding basic statistics is important for a huge number of reasons, but ok.

The tutor proceeded to explain how to solve the problem. (This is paraphrased, the real conversation was much longer) The girl stopped her and said

"we don't need to know that"

"You need this to solve the problem"

"We don't. Need. To. Know. That"

"Who's your professor"

"Mr so and so"

"Ok, there's another method to solve this, but it's much longer and more difficult to learn, and to the best of my knowledge he teaches this method"

(Raising her voice) "WE DON'T HAVE TO KNOW THAT"

At that point the tutor put her face in her hands and literally screamed.

theknightmanager

Math teacher here who works with adults. If more people got those "basic" concepts down before graduating high school, fewer kids would struggle, because there are so many parents who don't know the necessary math to help their elementary-school children with homework.

Edit, to clarify a couple of things: I'm not blaming parents for not learning math when they were in school, I'm saying the parents were done a disservice in their own education. Also, there are plenty of other reasons that a parent could have trouble helping with their kids' homework, I'm speaking to a specific group of adults, because I work with them every day. Yes, I agree with you that there are some things in high school math that not everyone needs to know, and I definitely agree with you that K-12 math education in this country has a lot of problems. I don't agree with those who say that parents shouldn't need to help their kids with homework, however. It's important for kids to see multiple ways of solving problems, and it's equally important to normalize math, to show kids that it's something everyone can do. Many, many people have this idea that there are "math people," and that they aren't one.

metatron207

Unlimited breadsticks are not really unlimited, and that you eventually have to order something.

To someone who flipped a table while shouting “I SHALL NO LONGER PATRONISE THE GARDEN OF OLIVES!”

ThorsBigSweatyArmpit

A local morning radio show host I used to listen to absolutely DRAGGED one of his co-hosts for this. She went to Olive Garden, ordered food but filled up on salad and breadsticks so she just left. Didn't pay anything, didn't get her actual order, just up and left.

This girl was so dense, three people spent 20 minutes trying to explain how she was wrong and she just didn't get it

little_calico

How to bathe various body parts. There are some unhygienic adults out there...

I worked at a medical complex (in a non medical position) and got to be friends with the ultrasound technicians. They had almost daily horror stories of smelly, unhygienic patients. Since then I've always made a point to shower right before going to the doctor. Even the time I had what turned out to be 5mm kidney stones, I took the time to shower before going to the hospital.

ericpeacock79

The concept of sharing and being nice!

Seriously, share the road! Most people will fail the concept of Kindergarten if they're force to go back as adults. They'll be throwing tantrum to be in line first and cutting people off the road. Racing because it's fun and weaving between people. Using their phones while driving because they think they can multitask. So, the drive slowly and swerve while texting but AS SOON as they're done, the drive like an asscrack again. They'll be asshole man child and lady child who throws tantrum that they got a timeout for taking others kids shit and bullying.

UGH i hate driving.

senriii

Openly farting In public. Especially when there is a work colleague right next to them ( they don’t do it to be funny either they just do it) The same person doing a giant sneeze without covering their mouth all over the cups and plates on the drainer and just saying oops and walking away And yet again the same ignorant person putting the door fobs in their mouth when we just get issued a random one each day. The company weirdly gets though massive amounts of hand sanitizer and anti bacterial wipes ha ha

Three simple things. Don’t keep farting on people they don’t like it, cover your fucking mouth when you sneeze and get that out of your mouth other people have to use that

Oh yes. And lastly a late fourth . Stop microwaving bags of broccoli, cauliflower and Brussels sprouts. In the break room. They stink like your ass and make us feel sick.

Edit to clear some of the comments up:

A door fob is like a small electronic key that you use to access locked doors. And private staff only areas in a building. It the size of a button and you swipe it across a sensor next to a door to unlock it.

The farting. Oh yes I totally understand we all fart and believe me I don’t hold them in for a whole day. And a well timed noisy one is really really funny. But surely just to be a bit polite most people a bit more discrete than this particular person. It’s just basic toilet training, surely you don’t just shit and piss on the floor where you are standing ( obviously unless you have a medical problem in which case you probable wouldn’t be at work ha ha ) This is a constant release of noxious gas . Imagine trying to work with this person and trying to serve customers with snacks and drinks with a cloud of shit smelling air wafting by. Don’t hold it in till it hurts. Just fart quietly away from people

And I totally agree with the sneezing. Again we have all been caught off guard. Try to cover your mouth. But if you sneeze all over something unexpectedly, that other people have to use at least wipe or re wash it. Not just say oops and walk away.

louanne1cat

While everyone says something like hygiene or cleanness, I have something else. There has been something that really bothers me more though.

Just because multiple people say something, that doesn't mean it's true or fallacy by mass appeal or argumenum ad populum. This is the stupidest thing that I have to explain to other adults. Kids I understand.

If a whole bunch of kids like the color blue, then does not mean blue is the best or most perfect color in the world. Kids did a poll to prove blue was the perfect color. I said it was an opinion not a fact. He then asked all his friends.

Now as adults, so many stupid adults use mass appeal to confirm their own bias. Just because everyone once believed the opinion that Earth was flat or the Earth was the center doesn't mean those opinions are true. So when a lot of people say shit about me or accuse me of a crime, then you need evidence rather than the testimonies of everyone who weren't even there. My life would be so much easier if I had mass surveillance or a camera worn on me. I don't even commit crimes because I am not a criminal. I am sick of stupid people who say "well i wasn't there but this guy seems like the type of guy who would do something like this." Then 10 more people make the exact same report.

the the investigator is "alright that's good enough for me. let's get him"

navy2air

Now wait a minute before you go making jokes about children and sex - I don't just mean sex. There are plenty of things that you should ask a person for consent for. Invading their personal space in any way, for example. Not everyone likes hugs or being touched and that's okay, and kids should learn to give and ask for consent/permission in regards to these things. This makes the lesson easily transferable when they reach adulthood.

I've noticed that people at my college who have issues with giving/receiving proper consent also have issues with giving/receiving permission/consent in other situations. They're handsy, or they don't respect other people's property.

OFS_Razgriz

Not to say the n-word. My friend’s stepdad is racist, and he taught my friend’s little brother the n-word. So, the brother kept using it at school and some Mexican girls beat him up on the bus, slammed his face into the side of the bus repeatedly and poured water down his head. He was in 3rd grade, the girls in 5th. He went home crying and told my friend about it and she was pissed because “how are some 5th grade girls gonna bully my little brother and no one do anything about it?” They pulled up security footage and the girls were banned from using that bus and had to use a different one. Which, YES is appropriate. No matter what he said, they can’t just beat up a kid. Since the brother had some... special needs problem (very bad ADHD,) he didn’t really understand why saying the word was bad, no matter what my friend said. I told my friend to do this:

Tell him about the bullying, ask him how he felt. He felt bad, right? Well, tell him that’s how those girls felt every time he used that word. They felt bad because of that word, so don’t say it.

No more incidences since then.

Totally acceptable to have to teach a child that, mostly if they grew up with a racist father. However, it’s totally unacceptable to have to teach an adult because they know better.

sleepilyLee

How to pee at a urinal without their pants down to their ankles. I walked in the other day to someone doing that, not down all the way, but pulled down to his knees and his shirt pulled up, bare ass showing to the world, and I couldn’t help but laugh. I can’t imagine he doesn’t know or hasn’t seen how most do it. Not worth explaining to him but it’s still a hoot to see adults so that. I guess I wouldn’t say anything to a kid that wasn’t mine either though.

Ofreo

Why a person uses a wheelchair/mobility aide.

I love explaining it to kids and hearing their questions and if I see a kid looking at me and their parent is telling them not to stare (usually whilst they themselves are staring but that could just be because I'm devastatingly gorgeous! /S) I usually say "that's ok, I don't mind curious kids!" Then I look at the kid and say "you look like you might wanna ask me something. You can ask me anything!"

I've had so many hilarious/awesome/wholesome conversations with kids with that open ended question. And sometimes why I use a mobility aide comes up!

Adults ask "what do you have?" like they have the right to know. Sometimes I explain, sometimes I don't but 7/10 times I DO explain, they inevitably respond with the most asinine comment ever.

"If that happened to me, I'd just kill myself!"

Spoiler alert: no you wouldn't. You'd adapt.

Gimpbarbie

A former coworker couldn't read clocks, she was 19. Following situation happened:

Her: "Hey, when does break begin?"

Me: "9:30"

Her: "When is this??"

Me: "...There's a clock right there above the door."

Her: "I can't read it."

Me: "...Wat?"

Her: "Yeah, I can only read digital clocks."

She wasn't the brightest to begin with. But seriously, reading a goddamn clock. That's something that you usually learn in kindergarten or elementary!

Oquana