Bar Staffers Share Mind-Boggling Stories Of The Safeword Drink Escape

I worked in a nightclub that was popular with the gay community for a couple of years, we didn't have a safe word but one night there were two guys clearly hitting it off they were flirting and having a great time.

After a couple of drinks one of the guys was clearly being very forward and touchy, the other was not enjoying this and had withdrawn. He attempted to walk back to his friends but the first guy wasn't having this and pulled him back. In an attempt to get out the guy started vigorously shaking his head anytime one of the bar staff walked by.

After this happened a few times we realised something needed to be done and spoke to the guy that was being all forward and explained that we didn't think the other guy wanted to stay at the bar with him.

He got aggressive then and started screaming at us because how the fuck would we know what the guy wanted; although it was blatantly obvious.

Eventually we got security down to escort the guy out of the place so that the guy who had been trying to get away could go back to his friends, have a good night and not have to leave.

cspence14

Here one from Eindhoven, Netherlands:

I was working for a smaller bar with a mixed crowd, for both men and women we had safedrinks (women: virgin tequila, men: virgin vodka) in total I saw these ordered 2 times.

The one that sticks with me the most was for christmas eve, this night we had mostly Gay guys hanging around in the bar and some students. After a while of the students (S) got a lot of attention of one of the gay guys (GG) (hand on leg, a lot of too personal questions, touching ass) and told he was straight and not interested.

This got the bartender that overheard this on alert end he put a napkin on the bar near where he was sitting with a red exclamation mark, so all staff new something was up.

S goes to toilet and GG orders a round of vodka shots, bartender didnt see S so poured the order and placed it on the bar. S comes back and GG tells him to "help him empty the glasses" S starts drinking and suddenly looks very paly and sweaty, as soon as the vodka is dome GG smiles and walks to toilet. S looks worse by the second and asks for virgin vodka, at this moment two of the bartenders get him to one of the other bars owned by my boss and call an ambulance.

The rest of the crew created a diversion for GG as soon as he came from the toilet, telling him S left for a phonecall. Ambulance noticed S seemed to be drugged, GG was drinking something else by then (watered down cocktails without him even noticing) and we alerted the police, who found 4 tubes of GHB on him.

In the end GG was arrested and S rushed to hospital.

Edit: Whoa, didnt expect this many reactions. Here some answers: -This was indeed on stratumseind, the bars in question unfortunately do not exist anymore. -We called it Virginxxx because at this time (around 2008-2010) we never expected it to be used so much, later we even changed the name every 3 months. -GHB is officially a medical aid, later rape drug which is too easy to produce at home, this makes control over it even harder and the drug only more dangerous.

Gewitwel

I used to bartend for a gay bar. One night I had a group of guys who seemed to be having a great time. After another round of shots, one sticks behind at the bar and asks for an angel shot. I bring him behind the bar and into the office.

He was with a couple coworkers and their friends. He knew the coworkers were gay, and would be taking him to a gay bar, but apparently things started to get out of hand when they started trying to grope him. I tell him he can chill in the back room for as long as he needed, he hands me a handful of crumpled 1s and asks for a burger. We didn't really serve food besides shitty bar snacks, so I hand him back his money and give him a couple bags of chips.

About half an hour later I go to check on him, and notice that he's really fucked up. To the point where he can't even talk. Definitely drugged with something. Luckily all his asshole friends were still there drinking, so I called the cops. He's rushed away in an ambulance immediately. I shut the bar down so the cops and I can co through the security footage.

We managed to catch two of the guys he's with putting some powder into his beer. Both of them were arrested, the other two were somewhere else at the time, and were let go.

Goyteamsix

No, but I have a slightly relevant story. Slightly. It involves a bar and a guy at least lmao.

I'm a line cook at one. I was kinda chilling in the hallway to gauge how busy we were getting so I could possibly take a break before we picked up. A very sweet, kinda nerdy guy got up from the bar and quickly walked towards the bathroom. On his way, he started crying. I walked into the bathroom with him and asked if he was okay. He said his date texted her boyfriend that he didn't know about, and some of his friends to come jump the guy because he couldn't afford to pay for all 8 of her Cranberry Vodkas. He said she was probably serious because he was peeping at her texts as she was nodding in and out (definitely the bartenders fault for letting her get so fucked up).

I told my manager, we put his tab on hold and escorted him out if the back door and hid him in the owners truck (he was drunk enough that we didn't feel comfortable letting him drive, and Uber may take too long if this ass beating actually comes along).

So I smoke my cigarettes and almost immediately after walking back inside, I hear a douchebag pull in. You know, a guy doing a burnout into the parking lot in his burgundy 1996 Honda Civic with mismatch bumpers/fenders and half of the hood spray painted matte black.

I grab my manager and we pretend to have a conversation outside. He walks in (he was alone thankfully), grabs the skank from the bar and walks out. They ask if we've seen the guy she was with and we told him he was throwing up really bad so we called him an Uber (I know we should've said no, but there were only like five people at the bar at the time, everyone definitely saw him walk through the back door of the kitchen with us). Dude gets pissed off saying his girl isn't paying for the tab AND STARTS THROWING ROCKS AT OUR FUCKING WINDOWS. Owner grabs an old pool cue from the back and holds it above his head ready to kill this dude until the police got there lmao. Super-Douche and Cranberry-Hoe speed off after a few more rocks and a half ass swing at the owner, which resulted in a full-power pool cue to the wrist.

We eventually really did call the dude an Uber, paid for the chicks drinks for him, he insisted he paid for his and the Uber so we let him. Police were upset that we let the victim go before they could get a report and asked to watch our video tapes, which we only have inside unfortunately. I don't know what happened after that as I quit shortly after for a better position. Fucking craziest day at work though.

ImRickyAndImSticky

Not an angel shot...but last week I had to meet my abusive ex wife to talk about some things regarding our kids(I’m a male). I insisted that we needed to meet in public so she begrudgingly agreed to meet at Chili's. Throughout the entire meal, she was being mean and hateful and cruel to me...but she was also quiet about it. I wasn't crying or anything(on the outside anyway). She was just being overly threatening and quiet to me.

At a point during the lunch, our waiter thankfully positioned himself behind her and mouthed the following words to me: "Are you okay?" I kind of shook my head no because I was afraid of leaving when the time came. We paid the check and were about to leave when the manager appeared with the waiter. The manager stood between my ex and myself and told her, politely, that she needed to leave on her own. Before she could become belligerent, the manager explained to her that he had called the police and that she needed to leave immediately.

He then asked me, quietly, to have a seat and wait. They brought me another drink. The cops showed up quickly and made sure my ex had left.

They walked me to my car and then followed me home to make sure I was okay. Not an angel shot, but these workers were angels to me. They paid attention to a terrifying situation and helped me more than they will ever know.

I_CAPE_RUNTS

I used to bartend and do front desk at a hotel. One of my regulars was in for the week, real nice guy, very friendly and happily married. We also had a cuckoo bird lady staying with us that week. She was decent looking but def had crazy eyes.

They were both at the bar and they were talking for a while. Him being a nice guy, he didn’t want to outright blow her off I guess. He stops at the front desk to say what’s up and we talk for a bit while the girl is just standing behind him. He shoots me a look that says get me out of this situation as he starts walking towards the elevator.

Once she gets in the elevator I called him back to ask a question about Detroit because “I was going there next week.” He got off the elevator but so did she.

Then I told the lady there was a problem with the card she had on file (there wasn’t) and he slipped away. He called me thanking me a few minutes later.

Gundy

My old regular bar had a drink called "Neph" (Need escape please help, not really the name as it is another language, but that is the idea) which was not on the menu.

If you order it, they call you a cab, and one of the waiters will wait next to the toilet, allowing you to pay your half there and let you in to the back so you can leave unnoticed.

It was available for men and women alike to get out of bad dates (though they will not really let you use it to skip on your date).

They didn't advertise it really, but regulars knew it existed.

They would also actively offer someone that drink if they feel their date is going to the wrong place.

I saw a man being offered it once when his date was verbally abusive to him.

And a woman whose date was so arrogant and creepy and talked down on her.
Never actually use it myself.

I actually thought it was relatively common in most neighbourhood bars to have this type of "drink".

Defoler

8 years working at a brewery. Only one time have i had to actually save a guy, other than the funny ones, where I've helped them slip out of an awkward situation.

Guy meets girl at the bar seats, they get drinks, 10 minutes later, round 2. Seems normal. They appear to be hitting it off. Out of nowhere this gal starts flipping the fuck out, couldn't understand most of what's coming out of her mouth. Screaming about this guy trying to date rape her, phone in hand, threatening to call the cops, involving other women and shit. Had to settle this lady down for a sec and grasp whats going on, no dice, won't chill out, she runs out of the bar at full speed and takes of in her car.

Never saw her in the bar again.

I know this guy didn't do anything, but had to talk to cops anyways. Make a report blah blah. Couple weeks pass by, same guy at the bar chatting with me. On the T.V. (local news) is that woman.. Arrested, for assaulting a guy, whom she accused of the same thing then trying to flee.

It was her way of getting FREE FUCKING DRINKS.

Yea.. WTF.

wxwhybother

I work in small cocktail bars in Sydney, Australia, prime date night joints. We have something called 'ask for Angela', where the idea is you just ask the bar staff if Angela is working tonight and that'll be the hint to keep an eye on things or even call a cab.

I've only had one customer, man or woman, ever use it, a nice younger guy on a date with an older gentleman. The issue was threefold.

A venue at the time had quite a few backpackers on working holidays that were completely unaware of this protocol, we had a lovely Chinese girl who went by Angela working that night, and that the date was going poorly in such a fashion that to the untrained eye, it looked like two work acquaintances having a drink. There was that little chemistry between them.

Apparently the order gentleman followed the younger in the bathroom and copped a feel, prompting the ask for Angela. It was a huge runaround to be honest. It took quite a while for a native English speaker to tune into the argument behind the bar where Angela was explaining that she had no idea who this guy was. So eventually he got some help.

He ordered two cocktails at the bar, as de if Angela was working tonight, saying she made them the best. We ended up ordering an uber for him while he feigned an emergency, and brought their drinks out in time that the older bloke sorta felt obligated to stay and finish them, just as his uber arrived.

Unfortunately a lot of bars have joined the ask for Angela campaign (it's government sponsored), posted the signs in their ladies rooms, and called it a day. No staff training. This is because it puts you on a government list of 'safe bars' and, well, nobody can give up free publicity. Very disappointing. I also believe it needs to better extend to men on poor dates as well, I rarely see the posters in men's rooms, just unisex and ladies.

Nitrosol

Not quite the same but I worked in a coffee shop on a busy high street this year and had a similar sort of thing happen. We noticed one customer had come in, ordered, and sat opposite the counter, which meant that he was staring at me and my other female colleagues for about 30 mins straight.

We wondered if he was high as he didn't seem aware of himself, but his gaze was following me as I walked up and down the counter, which was about 8m long. We then closed and the customers sitting inside left, including a very nice, young couple who walked up the street away from the shop, as did the weird guy.

About 10 minutes later, the couple came back to the door, which we had locked, and knocked, saying they'd left a phone behind. They came in and told us that the man had followed them for 10 minutes towards their home. So they came back to hide.

CratesofPlates

Only had one incident of a man using Ask For Angela (UK safeword scheme). Gay kid on a bad date. His date had been extremely overbearing and even having to witness it from the bar was extremely uncomfortable. We smuggled him into the kitchen and out the side door while his date went to the bathroom and called him a taxi. Date came back from the bathroom, asked where the kid was, I just went "dunno". Date started getting aggro with me, so supervisor ended up throwing this guy out by the collar.

It honestly doesn't get used enough, by either men or women, especially here in the UK. It absolutely sucks, especially when you as a bartender can't really legally do much or you risk not only your job, but the bar's reputation.

little_bookwolf96

Worked in a pub in Ireland as a bouncer. Not a common thing here to have the 'get me outta here' shot. So no signs or that but there was some Facebook post calling them angel shots that did its rounds. Girls would say they've to go to us and we'd know. No code words or shit.

Anyway one night I'm doing my thing in this nice bar, and a guy approaches me infront of a group of friend being abit boisterous from a fancy restaurant across the road and he says he needs an angel shot. So we let them in but I hold him there 'questioning his ID' as his friend make fun of me and him as I'm 22, this guy was maybe 35ish and I was a "kid telling a man no". So they hang about for him (so I can't ask him what's up) I tell him no he's had too much tonight, I hail a taxi down and he pretends to resist getting in so I basically pick him up and carry him into the taxi. He throws me €50 into my jacket pocket discreetly and the taxi goes off then. Nothing big.

2 days later I'm working again same bunch of guys from the restaurant come over. The angel shot guy isn't there.

3 days later angel shot guy comes but very early and explains it all to me. Turns out his friends where doing coke (all professional people) and a girl was raped in the bathroom. He said at first she wanted to have sex with one of them but then two guys came in, then she wanted out and couldn't, this guy tried to interject but couldn't and then felt uncomfortable and didn't want a part of this so wanted to leave but was told if he did they'd hurt him and the reason they all returned 2 days later was his going away drinks that he didn't attend (obviously). The guys where then charged like a month later? Can't find public info on it anymore.

Only time I ever had to use the 'get me outta here' shot.

Gibbo151

Yep, I work in a nightclub in a small city in England in Lincolnshire. I once had a guy who seemed to only recently turned 18, ask if Angela was working (Ask for Angela is a UK scheme that helps prevent violence, sexual assaults and date rape).

I knew about the Ask for Angela scheme and immediately I brought him into the glass wash room. Turns out there were a bunch of lasses encouraging this one lass into seducing him, grinding up on him, trying to kiss him and groping him. This apparently continued even after the man had walked away into other parts of the nightclub after showing and saying he wasn't interested.

I had reported this to my supervisor who was a little hesitant at first but eventually called the bouncers into the back room too. We explained the situation to them. Now these guys are basically 200-300 pound tanks who you would expect to joke about this and tell this guy to man up and enjoy it but to my suprise, they took it seriously as well.

They managed to track down this group (5 women including the one who was doing the grinding) and they escorted all of them out of the building. Meanwhile, a taxi had already been prepared by my supervisor and the taxi firm was literally down the road, so it didn't take long for it to arrive. I escorted the man through the back stairs that continues down to the stock cellar but leads off to the side exit of the building near the bins. A taxi was parked just outside.

It would be a rare occasion when someone uses "AskAngela" where I work, let alone a man so I'm really glad that all of the staff took it seriously and helped as much as they could.

MrOddbodd

Not an exact “Ask Angela”, but it happened to myself and my mates on a night out.

Was out with a few mates and the gf at the time. As my GF went into the bathroom of the club. I sat outside near a table with the boys a few moments go by, i had this guy approach me discretely acting as a long lost mate at first till he said “I’m being harassed and threatened by my ex and her new bf, I feel like I’m going to get bashed can you help me get out of here?”

Dude was young and fairly drunk and I didn’t believe him for a moment. Then I saw this big fuck off giant with rage in his eyes staring at him from the dance floor. I walked him away and down stairs flanked by my mates who clogged the stairwell until we got to the sports bar and approached a bouncer. He called through on the radio and got him a cab away home and the agitator and his ex kicked out.

Honestly, just everyone look after everyone. If someone needs help or assistance help them get to staff or help them get to staff. So they can ask for help or help them leave safely and quietly. It costs nothing and you might help save a life or prevent violence against them. Just be a decent human/bro and make this world a better place bro.

TLDR: stopped some guy getting attacked by his ex’s new giant bf. The real moral to the story is, Just be a bro to everyone. If we (guys) need help and ask for it (men/women) just help without judging it costs nothing.

If it was you, you would want someone to help you.

Matt84z

Not a bar staff, but I have a happier version of this:

My brother-in-law once had a bunch of friends declare that "tonight we are getting A drunk" and that they were going to buy all of his drinks for the night. A (my BIL) is a pretty big guy, careful with his drink, and his friends had never seen him drunk.

Their mistake was that they let him choose the venue. He chose the (at the time) only cocktail bar in town.

BIL went there ahead of time, explained to the bartender, and asked if he could make a non-alcoholic drink just for him. Bartender agreed, and told him to order the "House Special". Non-alcoholic, but with enough flavour and pepper to FEEL like a strong drink.

It went as expected. BIL had a few beers with his mates, then started ordering Specials while the others drank regular liquor...

And that is how my BIL could match everyone drink for drink, and still put everybody under the table. :-)

Coffeeminion

I have been manager of a night club in Holland for 1.5 years. We got good night out trainings. This is a training that helps you recognize when someone is getting sexual harassment and/or assaulted and how to react to the situation. We would put up the good night out posters all over the venue. So if we miss it, people know they can trust the staff and tell us.

Because it is hard to really recognize this in a night club we had more people that would go to the bar and ask for help. They would just tell us, we had no safeword. If this happend I was called and I stopped with everything I did and started helping this person.

A LOT can feel as harassment. So we would always take it seriously. First I would try to take them off the dancefloor and backstage so I could sit down and hear their story. After that I would always ask them if they want to press charges. If not they could point the person that was harassing them to me and I would kick them out. If they want to press charges I had to call the police and also try to find the harasser and hold them until the cops arrived.

This would not happen a lot, maybe once every 1/2 months. Still to much but for a night club it could be a lot worse.

If someone tells you they are getting harassed always take it serious. He/she already feels ashamed and had the balls to tell you about it.

warehouseclosing

In our bathrooms, there's an option to ask for "Angela" at the bar however these posters are only up in the women's bathrooms. This has backfired on me once in the past because I found a guy in a situation he probably didn't want to be in.

I was doing a walk through, collecting glasses (we don't have barbacks in the club I work in) and keeping an eye on things. I noticed this group sat down, one girl with her shoes off all over this guy who was staring forward and tense. Clearly uncomfortable. She was very drunk so I managed to ask if he was okay without her noticing, he shook his head, I radioed for a bouncer and she was removed from the venue.

Even if someone is unaware of the safe word or knows that the person they're trying to get away from knows the safeword, most bartenders and bouncers will try and keep an eye on people and make sure everyone is having a good time.

thespianage

I had one really bad date that stands out.

I knew the bartenders because I was a regular, she was from out of town (20 minutes away, not far) and when I met her a few things stood out. First off, she was nothing like her ok cupid profile (common thing I've learned over the years, for everyone).

Second, she kept talking... like.. idk, saying weird stuff and using weird words like "it's all ok, when I die I'm going to levi-orsk up to god" and she kept using words that have no relevance to English to describe the act of dying or being dead. I've dated religious people, wickens, all kinds of stuff, but I've never found another psycological specimen quite like this one.

The thing that really broke the camel's back was when she took the tomato off her burger and fucking THREW IT ON THE FLOOR, saying that "all vegetables taste like dirt" was what got me.

I asked Chuck, my bartender if he could distract her, and he did. I left a 100 and promptly left. The barstaff got a 40 dollar tip and they never forgot that. To this day they still make me good drinks and cut me good deals. Love them all. That girl probably tasted like dirt, and her personality belonged next to that tomato, on the floor.

KevinTheSeaPickle

DISCLAIMER: 'Where is Angela?' is a scheme to get people out of dodgy dates in the UK

This happened to me. A man came up to the bar and said: "Hi there, do you know where Angela is?". I wasn't sure I heard him right, so I replied: "Sorry, what was that?". He then repeated "Do you know where Angela is?" whilst giving me a funny look with his eyes.

We had just had a new starter at the company called Angela who was working in the kitchen (the bar I worked at is in a restaurant). The fact he referred to her by name and his facial expression made me think he was a friend/spouse of hers, but he was unsure if she was working today or that he was at the right restaurant.

I told him I'd check the back for her. She was in the kitchen, so I went back to the bar and told him to follow me. I then pointed him towards Angela and he glanced over to her and said "Oh, right. Cheers." and then ran out of the fire escape next to her (one of those ones with a bar to open), setting a loud alarm off.

My manager came running in asking what was wrong, and I told him what had happened. My manager stopped the alarm and informed me that 'Where's Angela?' is a new scheme the police have brought in, but he hadn't got round to telling us. I told my manager that it would have been nice to have been informed.

TL;DR Man asked for Angela, I did not know it was a code word, somehow it worked out in the end. My manager sucked.

fragment059

I have been in a scenario like this. I was a busboy at a local pizza/bar. So I just started my shift and I'm clearing a table and everything and I notice a table where a female is being extremely loud and abrasive. I walk back to the dish room and the guy knocks his drink over so I go to get it he hands me a napkin and pretends to help me. So I go back into the kitchen and it just says call 911.

So I tell my manager and he does so. So I told his waitress to bring him another drink and to say don't worry about the drink accidents happen. She is getting worse and worse and we all can hear her saying that if he tries to leave her she would kill herself.

So about 12 minutes later some cops show up the guy is in tears when they show up. He runs to the bathroom and my boss points at the table and they take her out do the restaurant.

This is where shit got wild she begins to take her clothes off one by one to avoid being escorted out of the restaurant. So here we are during dinner rush a naked ass crazy person stripping down running around tables screaming about her boyfriend. She got to the point where she was grabbing silverware and throwing at the cops and they dead ass tackle her and put her in cuffs drag her naked ass out to the car.

The poor boyfriend is in tears in the bathroom I go check on him and tell him what happened and he apologized I was like dude what caused all of this. He said we met on POF and this was our first date I had no clue what to do.

dinklberg1990